I Wash My Hands

11-04-07

It's not that I'm a clean freak (although I am) that causes me to choose such a title and topic. It's the entire Pontius Pilate thing. I mean here's a guy after my own heart. He's got a tough decision to make and he's put on the spot, he's got to make the call and what does he do?

He doesn't. You gotta love a guy like that! He found a way out! Not since Bartleby (and if you get this obscure literary reference YOU are a person after my own heart!) has someone so amazingly sidestepped an uncomfortable decision.


As an American male, I did this exceptionally well on the issue of marriage. For years I avoided the tough choice, finding multiple routes of escape, until one day I was tired of running. The Roman guards circled. It appeared if I didn't sacrifice my freedom then I'd be forced to forfeit my life, so either way it was the end of the line. In all the world I could not find a basin large enough to wash the sin of bachelorhood from my hands.

And so my freedom was nailed onto the cross of matrimony while I stood silently by, glad to have escaped with what little false dignity remained. Yes, I washed my hands of it; let the masses have their demand--for I still live!

Why is this simple parable important to you?

Should you tune in often you will gain wisdom without going through "the school of hard knocks." Either gender may benefit, though young men, it is with an eye for your safety that I write.

And if after having read this you choose not to learn, why then I simply wash my hands of the matter and we go on as before...

Washing you much happiness!